James Henry Patterson

Born to Heaven: Tuesday, October 7th, 2008.

It was a day filled with physical pain, sorrow but mostly a great deal of joy and gratitude.

Perhaps someday soon I will feel up to writing about our day. But for now I wanted to share with all of you some images so that you may know our beautiful baby boy.

These were taken by a lovely woman from the not for profit, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. We have others taken by family that I will share in the coming days.

(the images will not come through on this update email so please go directly to our blog from the web: www.athomewiththepattersons.blogspot.com to view them.)

James Henry gets a check up

This morning Mommy and Daddy got another chance to see our beautiful baby boy. It was so amazing and wonderful to see him again. See his face, see his heartbeat, his sweet fingers and toes and just feel close.

The news of his progress wasn't all together unexpected, but not as hopeful as mommy had set herself up for.

First of all he is doing just fine and all is well. His growth is showing signs of slowing down, however. Many normal babies at this stage of the game would be around 3 pounds and J. Henry is only about 2 pounds 3 ounces putting him in the 20th percentile size wise. Dr. Mitchell, who I just can't say enough wonderful things about, assured us that he wouldn't be concerned even if James wasn't a T18 baby. He just isn't going to be the brut Elie was.

My amniotic fluid was on the high side, but again not yet an area of concern. Dr. Mitchell describes this as more like the 80th percentile and really just means that momma feeling large and out of breath all the time is normal....we are 7 months pregnant after all.

Other T18 markers we tried to look at came in again as we might have expected, his little hands are clenched but his feet don't seem to be rocker bottom. We also found today that where the Level II ultrasound did not detect a cleft lip, this ultrasound did. His omphalacele is still there so the hope it might correct itself has pretty much disappeared.

So what does all of this really mean? Not a whole lot in the big picture. James Henry is fine, Momma and Daddy are fine and Elie is fine. Summer is over so we begin the difficult process of facing the possibilities/realities that T18 might bring us. In the next couple of weeks we will meet with the neonatologists at the hospital to go over what we might expect during his birth and after and what Bill and I feel are right for James Henry. I will meet with our Hospice worker next week for a check in. And on the bright side, begin preparing for Mom and Blair to come visit later in September.

Life goes on. Except today momma is a little sad because reality stopped by for a visit. Perhaps my eyes were lifted a bit too high.

To give you some context, Bill and I recently went to church for the first time in a long time and Rev. Are spoke of Psalm 131 My heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high;...I have calmed and quieted my soul. I invite you if you have the time to read the sermon at http://www.villagepres.org/ under the sermons catagory, July 20th was the date.

The passage that I think of on days like today goes like this:

Hope is not a sanctuary-seeking word. Hope calls us to not merely survive how things are, but to imagine how they should be. Hope is different from optimism. It was Rabbi Jonathon Sacks who wrote: "Optimisim is the belief that things will get better. Hope is the faith that, together, we can make things better...It takes no courage to be an optimist but it takes a great deal of courage to have hope."

So today momma is putting on her courage wings that only she can see and loving her sweet baby boy, his daddy and his sister. And having Hope.

BBQ Guys and Dolls

We've been doing alot of traveling here in the Patterson Household this past month which is why mommy has been neglectful in her blog posts.

I thought I would work my way backwards through the summer with all the fun activities starting with the Annual Dillon Colorado BBQ Competition. As a review, for the past several years now Bill's mom, Carolyn, has led our all women BBQ team. Each year we perfect our technique a bit more and this year was no exception.

Elie's cousin's Lucy and Max joined the group with their own special talents. Lucy sold tons of Lemonade and Max had a fishing booth that was a crowd pleaser. Elie pretty much just looked cute, drank lemonade and ate BBQ. Although there were rumors that she was featured in a t.v. spot from her participation last year. If we get a copy I'll post it.

I know others got team photos and such so pretty soon I'll do a post about the entire team, but suffice it to say that "Rub This" brought home the coveted Mayors Award second place for showmanship this year. Carolyn's cheesey potatoes took first place again this year in the side dish catagory, and my Colorado peach pie and cinnamon ice cream placed 8th.

Not too shabby!

Vacation Bible School

It has been quite a week here at chez Patterson. Mommy has been teaching Vacation Bible School "Red Macaw" class and Elie attended the nursery yesterday and today. The Red Macaw's are 4 years old and while the class isn't full with 9, let me tell you I'm not sure I could handle any more. Fortunately we only have 2 boys and only 1 of them is the rowdy sort.

To put it bluntly...Mommy is whipped with one more day to go but I have to admit I'm having alot of fun!

Elie has been having a blast! The heartbreaker in the blue shirt in the middle of the picture is Michael Muller (Elie is on the far right on her teachers knee. She is the youngest in the class). His parents are some of our best friends so Elie gets to see Michael alot....and has formed her first crush. She loves going to "the party" at church and seeing Michael. Today mommy even bought McDonalds afterward (a special treat if not the first time this is one of a very few times for Mommy).

The gal/teacher on the left is Kim Stratton. She and her husband Brad have been friends of ours for maybe 10 years now. As it happens Kim and Brad have a daughter Brady who has Trisomy 18 and she is 18 years old. While I'm realistic about our chances to have that much time with J. Henry, as his daddy calls him, it is nice to know that miracles do happen. Brady is a gift to her parents, beautiful, goes to school and lives a wonderful life.

That said...when we arrived home Elie had a complete meltdown wanting nuggets and milk BEFORE we could even get off the sidewalk. So my neighbor Joey comes over to help and Elie and I sit on the sidewalk to just have a picnic which seems to make Elie happy. Joey has 5 children, three girls and two boys, and has supplied Elie with so many cute outfits I can't count them. So being the wonderful nice friend she is she asked if I was ready for some little boy clothes. I was completely caught off guard and blurted out no that I didn't want any at all. Seeing the hurt look on her face made me feel terrible and I stumbled over my explanation that I really didn't want anything before James Henry arrives and if we are lucky enough to bring him home I would put out a call for some items. It just all seems so strange and surreal that something as innocent as a friend wanting to give me clothes for my baby could be such a complicated question. But it is.

I am Loved

Meet James Henry Patterson.

Let me assure you that James Henry Patterson knows he is loved. Not only that, but his mother, father and sister are more aware than ever of God's love in their lives and how much they are loved by friends, family and strangers.

As most of you are aware, shortly after my last post in February, Bill and I were surprised to learn that in fact we were expecting again on November 12th. Thank you writers strike!

Spring was definately in the air and we set off for what was now to be not only a "40th birthdays, 5th anniversary" trip but also a "babymoon" to southern Spain. The trip was something we will never forget. While we missed Elie she was happy as a clam with Grammy, Grandad, Da, Max, Lucy, Evan and Kristin. Bill and I strolled the streets of Spain, rode camels in Morocco and remembered what it was like to stay up late, get up late and just be together. Those carefree days are treasured memories I'll fill you in more about those another time.

The day after we arrived home we went in for what we thought was a "routine" genetic test and learned our sweet baby might have a problem. After 5 excruciating weeks of waiting on June 12th we learned that James Henry Patterson was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, a diagnosis which according to the medical books is "incompatable with life". (See www.trisomy18.org if you would like more information)

A month later now the shock has worn off and the sadness isn't quite so overwhelming. We have settled into having a wonderful summer and just treasuring every moment we have with Elie, each other and James Henry.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive this past month. We've received cards, phone calls, emails, inspirational cd's and more food than we can eat. I have decided that now is the time to start updating the blog again because I know we have so many wonderful loving friends and family who wonder how we are doing....and crave updates on our amazing Elie.

So for today, this moment, please know that we are all well. Safely wrapped in God's loving arms. Most moments are happy. James Henry kicks and squirms just like his sister did and is growing on track so far.

We are blessed and we are loved.

Happy Valentines Day and more

Many of you got this photo as a Valentine, but I just couldn't resist putting it up on the blog as well. Elie and I had such a fun day yesterday and the weather was outstanding. We went to the park for a swing, napped then Elie's friend Kirby came over and Mommy and Daddy went out to dinner. Yipee!

Now that Elie's ear infections seem to be behind her (we go back to the doctor on Monday for a final check) her sleep problems seem to be going away as well. Which is really great for mommy and daddy who were suffering from some major sleep deprivation.

Elie is growing up fast. Since her birthday she has given up her bottle and is slowly weaning as well.

The greatest "new feature" are her signs that she has learned. Bye-Bye was her first several months ago, then came all done..but from there we seemed stuck until a couple of weeks ago when she picked up Baby, very soon followed by more, eat and drink. Today we even think she may have signed Daddy and her version of friend. The funniest part is basically that now that she knows that when she asks she can get something to eat that is all she wants to do.

We are looking forward to a fun weekend and hope you all have one as well.

Much Love!

Pink Eye Ain't Pretty

Well folks the hits just keep on comin. We have now had our first official bout of Pink Eye in the Patterson household and I'm contemplating locking Elie in the house until she is...lets say 18. I think I've held up pretty well with all the bodily functions so far, but I think I'm at my breaking point. Perhaps seeing her little eyes that are so happy be so sad and just plain gross has something to do with it.

Fortunately, my neighbor has 4 children with a 5th on the way and the answer to just about anything. Her little guy had PE about a month ago so rather than a trip to the Pharmacy she just popped next door. You wouldn't believe how much better little Elie looked after just one treatment.

Even better the doctor said that after one round of drops she was no longer contagious so off to Gymboree she and Daddy go tomorrow. Oh What Busy Days.

Growing up

What I'm finding about being a mom is that there really are so many small but very important moments that go along with it. This is a picture from Saturday when Elie made her first car ride facing forward. To see her face light up and her little legs just kick and kick warms my heart...even on Thursday.

I was listening to Oprah on XM yesterday and Rabbi Schmoolie (that can't be how he spells it) was talking about making the ordinary extraordinary.

Today I'm looking for the extraordinary in the ordinary. Let me know if you find any of your own.

ABP

Elie's Birthday Barn Bash - 01.19.08

Elie's First Year - The Video

Happy Holidays from the Pattersons

Well I decided that I better get some holiday pics up before Elie's big birthday on Saturday! This whole week I've been finding myself stopping and remembering what I was doing this time last year. This time tomorrow I would have been in labor. Oh My!

For her birthday Elie is having a Farm Party with all her Kansas City Family. Of course we will miss all of you but I PROMISE to have lots of pics up by the end of the weekend and Bill has created a little something special for our little bundle.

Here are some pics of Daddy cutting the Turkey at Thanksgiving and Elie digging into her meal. I will have to post pictures of Christmas in another post so watch for more....